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Author Topic: People Skills: Tips for Getting Along With Others  (Read 3147 times)

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Offline Zanriel

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People Skills: Tips for Getting Along With Others
« on: February 10, 2011, 01:39:23 PM »

Here is a thread where people can share tips and advice on ways to get along better. If you've read a good book on the subject, or you've discovered certain things in life that have helped you when dealing with other people, this is the place to share your findings.

I'd like to start by sharing the main points from one of the most influential books I've ever read on the subject:

How to Win Friends and Influence People is a book I read when I was in the 8th grade, and since then it has served as the best handbook on handling people I've ever found. I can't say I always live up to the standards set in the book, but I'm always striving to get better at it. It's such good stuff that I decided to post an outline here, to act as a reminder for everyone on how to keep camaraderie high and drama low.

Here it is, taken from:

How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

If you want to collect honey don't kick over the beehive

  • 1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
    2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
    3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six ways to make people like you

  • 1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
    2. Smile.
    3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
    4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
    5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
    6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Win people to your way of thinking

You can't win an argument

  • 1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
    2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
    3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
    4. Begin in a friendly way.
    5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
    6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
    7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
    8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
    9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
    10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
    11. Dramatize your ideas.
    12. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader's job often includes changing people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

  • 1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
    2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
    3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
    4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
    5. Let the other person save face.
    6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
    7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
    8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
    9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2011, 08:59:38 AM by Zanriel »
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People Skills: Tips for Getting Along With Others

Offline Zanriel

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Re: People Skills: Tips for Getting Along
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2011, 08:52:10 AM »
Adjusted the title... If anyone has any other helpful tips on getting along and promoting smooth social interactions, feel free to pipe in!
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People Skills: Tips for Getting Along With Others

Offline Kahni

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Re: People Skills: Tips for Getting Along With Others
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2011, 12:03:01 PM »
I've never read the book, but a lot of my personality falls in the lines of what Zan posted.  I consider myself a "well liked guy" and have ZERO trouble getting along with people (baring any misconceptions on the other person's behalf).

One thing that I've taught my daughter, and students, to do is to THINK whatever you want.  Who cares, it's just yourself.  But be very mindful of what comes out of your mouth.

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Offline Kriggs

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Re: People Skills: Tips for Getting Along With Others
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2011, 04:44:12 PM »
"better to keep silent and let someone think you are a fool, than to open your mouth and prove them right"

As a general rule, I try not to say anything I wouldn't say if everyone reading it was in the room with me.

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Offline Rainbreeze

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Re: People Skills: Tips for Getting Along With Others
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2011, 11:45:10 PM »
That's some really great stuff to think about.  It really seems like most break-downs in communication and/or relationships happen because one or usually both parties are very stuck in their own world and psyche, so much so that they forget to present things in ways that would be best received or to receive input that is painful but helpful and true.  Also, just about everyone, including me, is a lot more observant and aware of the flaws in others while often oblivious to their own potential culpability in a problem. 

When the sentiment, "It's all your fault, you're the one who's wrong" is coming from one or both sides, you know that someone is very short on introspection.  lol

Also, I don't know if this is a true statement, but it's about how we usually tend to be:  "60% of motorists feel they are above average drivers."  Well, there's just no way that they're all correct about that!  :D

So, a couple of things I aim toward remembering are,
-->  Introspection and humility: I wouldn't be surprised if I'm blind to flaws that other people can see in me plain as day.
-->  Speaking truth in love: A gentle word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

We might not hit the target all the time, but hey, it's good to at least aim!

If you're thinking, "Someone should...," it probably means that you should.
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Re: People Skills: Tips for Getting Along With Others
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2011, 08:22:48 AM »
probably the best way I've found to keep peace is to simply not let your emotions influence your words or actions. It's always in the heat of the moment that someone says or does something that is stupid or ignorant, and often ends up portraying people in ways that are less than phenomenal, so when your mad, realize your mad and know that your thought process is being influenced by it, that way you can at least get a better grasp of the situation and act accordingly.  :D

Offline Moonlitangel

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Re: People Skills: Tips for Getting Along With Others
« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2011, 12:41:38 PM »
Changing the world one favor at a time

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Nimeson 75 Hunter

Offline Sullinius

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Re: People Skills: Tips for Getting Along With Others
« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2011, 07:07:08 AM »
lol ooooh the irony!


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